Okay Bitches...I promised you quasi-real-time blogging, well here's my first entry...It's 12:16 A.M. and I'm going to bed...Less than seven hours until the The Three Stooges Marathon on AMC.Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, and Cheers!!
: skip to main skip to sidebar Tuesday , December 29, 2009 The Bottle of Wine For all of us who are married , were married , wish you were married , or wish you weren't married , this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of : wine Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road . As the trip was a long and quiet one , she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride . With a silent nod of thanks , the woman got into the car . Resuming the journey , Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman . The old woman just sat silently , looking intently at everything she saw , studying every little detail , until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally . What in bag asked the old woman . Sally looked down at the brown bag and said , It's a bottle of wine . I got it for my husband . The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two . Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder , she said : Good trade Labels : Jokes : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom BLOG: skip to main skip to sidebar Monday , December 28, 2009 Rickey Smiley The 91 Year Old Stripper Jokes.com Rickey Smiley 91-Year-Old Stripper comedians.comedycentral.com Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games Labels : Videos : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom BLOG INSTRUCTIONS If you're new to BLOGS When you come to the end of each page , click on Older Posts to go to the next page . Click on any picture to see a full size . version Photos 153 Jokes 130 Cartoons 53 Videos 28 Health News 21 Random Thoughts 21 Entertainment News 20 News 16 Fashion 13 Good Reading 6 Politics 5 Bumper Stickers 4 Retirement News 2 Sites that link here Seniors For Living Humor Links The Orlando Sentinel The Chicago Tribune The Hartford Courant Get my daily Blog updates on your mobile . phone Blog Archive Blog Archive December 2009 17 November 2009 33 October 2009 22 September 2009 26 August 2009 54 July 2009 86 June 2009 1 March 2009 2 February 2009 5 January 2009 11 December 2008 5 November 2008 6 October 2008 5 September 2008 5 August 2008 11 July 2008 12 June 2008 6 May 2008 8 April 2008 7 March 2008 10 February 2008 8Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.: skip to main skip to sidebar Friday , December 18, 2009 New Ideas An elderly priest was speaking to a younger priest . You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats . It worked like a charm The front of the church always fills first now . As the young priest nodded , the old priest continued , You also told me to assign a little more beat to the music because it would bring young people back to church . So , I supported you when you bought in that rock n’ roll Gospel choir . Now , our services are consistently packed . 8220 Thank you , Father , answered the young priest . I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth . All of these ideas have been well and good , said the elderly priest . But , I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional . But Father , protested the young priest . My confessions and donations have nearly doubled since I began that Yes , replied , the elderly priest . I appreciate that , but the flashing neon sign , Toot n’ Tell or Go to Hell’ cannot stay on the church roof Labels : Jokes : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom BLOGTwo old geezers, Bill and Bob were shooting the breeze. Bill sez, "You ever made a Freudian slip?" Bob sez, "What's that?" Bill: "Well, I'll give you an example. The other day I was at the airport, and the woman at the airline counter was quite well endowed. I meant to say, 'I'd like two tickets for Pittsburgh. But it came out, 'I'd like two pickets for Tittsburgh.'" Bob: "Ahh, gotcha Bill. That happened to me this morning. My wife and I were having breakfast, and I meant to say, 'Dear, could you please pass the marmalade.' But it came out, 'You old hag, you're ruining my life.'"You have to check out www.peopleofwalmart.com. A website that gives new meaning to the term "Fashion Police." See the latest in senior and boomer fashion on display.Two old friends were out in the woods hiking one morning when, all of a sudden, a bear jumped out of a bush and started chasing them. Both hunters took off, running for their lives. After a minute, one stopped to put on a pair of running shoes. "What are you thinking?" his friend yelled over his shoulder. "You can't outrun a bear!" "I know, I know," the man replied while tying up his laces. "I know, I can't outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you!": skip to main skip to sidebar Saturday , December 5, 2009 The Christmas Invitation Mick had been in Police work for 25 years . Finally sick of the stress , he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible . He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month . Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet . After six months or so of almost total isolation , someone knocks on his door . He opens it and a huge , bearded man is standing there . Name’s Cliff , your neighbor from forty miles up the road . Having a Christmas party Friday night . Thought you might like to come at about 5:00 Great’ , says Mick , after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks Thank you . 8217 As Cliff is leaving , he stops . Gotta warn you . Be some drinking’ Not a problem’ says Mick . After 25 years in the business , I can drink with the best of . em’ Again , the big man starts to leave and stops . More n’ likely gonna be some fighting’ too . Well , I get along with people , I’ll be all right I’ll be there . Thanks again . 8217 More’n likely be some wild sex , too , 8217 Now that’s really not a problem’ says Mick , warming to the idea . I’ve been all: skip to main skip to sidebar Thursday , December 3, 2009 Age is a funny thing Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking , Surely I can't look that old Well , You'll love this one I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist . I noticed his , DDS , which bore his full name . Suddenly , I remembered a tall , handsome , dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago . Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on , way back then Upon seeing him , however , I quickly discarded any such thought . This balding , gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate . Hmmm Or could he After he examined my teeth , I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School . Yes . Yes , I did . I'm a Mustang , he gleamed with pride . When did you graduate I asked . He answered , In 1959. Why do you ask You were in my class I exclaimed . He looked at me closely . Then , that ugly , old wrinkled SOB asked , What did you teach Labels : Jokes : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom BLOG: . skip to main skip to sidebar Thursday , December 3, 2009 Carnation Milk Is Best Of All . Carnation milk 65 YEARS AGO This is PRICELESS . A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk , with hours of hard work and little compensation.When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940s , she read an advertisement offering 5,000 for the best slogan . The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with Carnation Milk is best of all . She thought to herself , I know all about milk and dairy farms . I can do this She sent in her entry , and several weeks later , a black limo pulled up in front of her house . A man got out and said , Carnation LOVED your entry so much , we are here to award you 2,000 even though we will not be able to use it Labels : Cartoons : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom BLOG INSTRUCTIONS If you're new to BLOGS When you come to the end of each page , click on Older Posts to go to the next page . Click on any picture to see a full size . version Photos 153 Jokes 130 Cartoons 53 Videos 28 Health News 21