been doing a little more research on the internet. typed in canine outwits bird, or something like that, and found some really good sales demo videos from a business called acme mfg co. havent been able to figure out how to purchase their products yet but heres what im looking at so far:
have to say [...]
When I was younger there was a guy that would come around our neighborhood with a grinding wheel just like the one in the cartoon. I remember everyone coming down and bringing him their kitchen knives and scissors to be sharpened. The kids would gather around him also and watch intently. Brought back a lot of memories. Don't remember anyone sharpening their choppers though.: skip to main skip to sidebar Tuesday , October 13, 2009 Happy Anniversary Al and Susie are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Al says to Susie , So , Susie , I was wondering . Have you ever cheated on me Susie replies , Oh Al , why would you ask such a question now You don't want to ask that question . Yes , Susie , I really want to know . Please . Well , all right , 3 times . 3, hmmm , well when were they Well , Al , remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan . Remember , then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers , no questions asked . Well . Oh , Susie , you did that for me I respect you even more than ever , to do such a thing for me . So when was number 2 Well , Al , remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation , and no surgeon wanted to touch you . Then remember how Dr . DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again . Well . Oh my god Susie , you should do such a thing for me , to save my life . I couldn't have a more wonderful wife . To do Click on comic to enlarge.As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make adifference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Sclumberg is such a person. VERY INSPIRING! I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired” Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine.I was just settling in to a barber's chair when I overheard the elderly man next to me say, "I'm not much for pills, but I am taking Gingko-Viagra. I want to remember what sex was like."My wife and I had words last night. But I didn't get a chance to use mine.: skip to main skip to sidebar Wednesday , October 7, 2009 Observations on growing old 01. It's harder to tell navy from . black 02. Everything old is new again , but if you wore it before , you're too old to wear it the second time . around 03. Your kids are becoming like you---and you don't like them , but your grandchildren are perfect 04. Yellow becomes your big color---your eyeballs , your skin , your teeth , your . underwear 05. Going out is good coming home is even better 06. When people say you look Great they add , for your age 07. When you needed the discount , you paid full price.Now you get discounts on everything---movies , hotels , . flights 08. You forget names , but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew . you 09. The last 2 outfits you wore had spots on . them 10. You ask your spouse or friend how your outfit looks , and they tell you the . truth 11. The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15, and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 . pounds 12. You realize you're never going to be really good at anything---especially . golf 13. Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember . 14. The things you cared to do ,<div: skip to main skip to sidebar Wednesday , October 7, 2009 The Old Pecan Tree On the outskirts of a small town , there was a big , old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence . One day , two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree , out of sight , and began dividing the nuts . One for you , one for me one for you , one for me , said one boy . Several dropped from the tree and rolled down toward the fence . Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle . As he passed , he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery . He slowed down to investigate . Sure enough , he heard , One for you , one for me . One for you , one for me . He just knew what it was . He jumped back on his bike and rode off . Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane , hobbling along . Come here quick , said the boy , you won't believe what I heard Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls . The man said , Beat it kid , can't you see it's hard for me to walk . When the boy insisted though , the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery . Standing by the fence they heard One for you , one for me . One for you , one for me . The old man whispered , Boy ,During his speech at my cousin's graduation, Bill Cosby was making the point that true wisdom comes not from a classroom but from life. When he was in college, he said, his class endlessly discussed the question: Is the glass half full or half empty?So Cosby asked his grandmother the same question. She had it all figured out: "Depends on whether you're pouring or drinking."Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil and the new addition - screw you!: skip to main skip to sidebar Tuesday , September 29, 2009 Losing my marbles A humorous story I enjoyed and wanted to share with . you The older I get , the more I enjoy Saturday mornings . Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise , or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work . Either way , the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable . A few weeks ago , I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other . What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time . Let me tell you about it I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net . Along the way , I came across an older sounding chap , with a tremendous signal and a golden voice . You know the kind , he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business . He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about a thousand marbles . I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say . Well , Tom , it sure sounds like you're busy with your job . I'm sureThe biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an elderly woman."How'd you do it?" we asked. "Easy," she said."Every night I take my teeth out at six o'clock."My granddaughter asked why I called my wife Hon. "It's a term of endearment," I explained. My wife mumbled, "After more than 40 years, it's a term of endurement."