: skip to main skip to sidebar Thursday , July 30, 2009 Questions and Answers from AARP Forum : Q Where can men over the age of 60 find younger , sexy women who are interested in them : A Try a bookstore under fiction : Q What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause : A Keep busy . If you're handy with tools , you can finish the basement . When you're done you'll have a place to . live : Q How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband : A Tell him you're . pregnant : Q How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles : A Take off your . glasses : Q Seriously What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face : A Go braless . It will usually pull them . out : Q Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage : A Storing memory is not a problem , Retrieving it is the . problem : Q As people age , do they sleep more soundly : A Yes , but usually in the afternoon . Labels : Random Thoughts : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom Photos 120 Jokes 89 Cartoons 30 Videos 18 News 14 Health News 12 Entertainment News 11 RandomNow that I am older, my cardiologist advised me to watch my diet. Now I avoid eating healthy natural foods because I read that most people die of natural causes. I'll have a double Whopper please! Alternate headline: Zelda could hardly contain her excitement at the announcement of Ben & Jerry's newest flavor, Prune-alicious.: skip to main skip to sidebar Tuesday , July 28, 2009 85 and still kickin' The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies holds the Guinness record for being the oldest professional chorus line in the world , and one of its performers , Dorothy Dale Kloss , holds the record—at age 85—for being the oldest still-performing showgirl . 8221 Watch the video : http : bulletin.aarp.org yourworld articles Dorothy_Dale_Kloss_Oldest_Showgirl_in_the_World.html Labels : Entertainment News : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom Photos 120 Jokes 89 Cartoons 30 Videos 18 News 14 Health News 12 Entertainment News 11 Random Thoughts 11 Fashion 9 Bumper Stickers 3 Retirement News 2 Good Reading 1 Politics 1 Sites that link here The Orlando Sentinel The Chicago Tribune The Hartford Courant Get my daily Blog updates on your mobile . phone Blog Archive Blog Archive July 2009 84 June 2009 1 March 2009 2 February 2009 5 January 2009 11 December 2008 5 November 2008 6 October 2008 5 September 2008 5 August 2008 11 July 2008 12 June 2008 6 May 2008 8 April 2008 7 March 2008 10 February 2008 8 January 2008 10 December 2007 5 November 2007 7 October 2007 6Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel " pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land". Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land". Now Obama has stolen your shovel , taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land. God help us.: skip to main skip to sidebar Monday , July 27, 2009 Survived by his wife From The New York Times , May 9, 2004 : Alan King , the stand-up comedian who parlayed a borscht-belt sense of humor , a tummler's cheek and a big appetite for the limelight into a thoroughgoing show business career that lasted more than half a century , died Sunday morning at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan . He was 76 and lived in Kings Point , N.Y . The cause of death was lung cancer . King is survived by his wife of 57 years , Jeanette . Thanks to Ira Rubin for sending that . in Labels : Videos : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom Photos 120 Jokes 89 Cartoons 30 Videos 18 News 14 Health News 12 Entertainment News 11 Random Thoughts 11 Fashion 9 Bumper Stickers 3 Retirement News 2 Good Reading 1 Politics 1 Sites that link here The Orlando Sentinel The Chicago Tribune The Hartford Courant Get my daily Blog updates on your mobile . phone Blog Archive Blog Archive July 2009 84 June 2009 1 March 2009 2 February 2009 5 January 2009 11 December 2008 5 November 2008 6 October 2008 5 September 2008 5 August 2008 11 July 2008 12Love this little cartoon about getting older. I am fortunate that I haven't reached this advanced AARP stage yet. I do however miss my wet dreams and I don't thing my wife would be as pleasant as the character illustrated here. Not sure why the luggage is in the picture but I'm sure his wife told him "If you crap the bed one more time.... "I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!" And the other person says: "So what are you up to?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here." At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question: "Can I come over?" Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say: "No........ I'm a little busy right now!!!" Then I hear the person say, nervously: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!"Bad hair day. But then again... every day is a bad hair day. lol.<span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"Prepare to be entertained by the inspiring individuals of YOUNG@HEART, a New England senior citizens chorus that has delighted audiences worldwide with their covers of songs by everyone from The Clash to Coldplay.See more of Ron Coleman's senior citizen cartoons at: http://www.colemantoons.com/seniors.htmlAn old pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate. "I feel fine." Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." Bartender: "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook I'm fine, really." Bartender: "What about that eye patch?" Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender. "You lost an eye just from bird shit:" Pirate: "It was my first day with the hook." Thanks to Charley Brazda for sharing that.: skip to main skip to sidebar Friday , July 24, 2009 A little wartime nostalgia Accused of joining his unit three months late in 1940, he announces : I'll make up for it I'll fight nights , as well Spike Milligan's celebrated war memoirs are finally brought to the stage . This anarchic odyssey charts Gunner Milligan's progress through World War Two and with Spike's sense of lunacy , anything can happen along the way High comedy and tragedy collide , as we follow him and his jazz quartet , adrift on the tide of great historic events . Using Milligan's own words , the show joyously fuses comedy , song and dance showing how humour , music and comradeship enabled a hapless bunch of young men to prevail against the might of the Nazi War machine . For more information visit : http : www.hampsteadtheatre.com prod-productions_details.asp PID=123 Labels : Entertainment News : Reactions 1 comments : Simon said . Thanks for the tip off . The book was great , let's hope the show lives up to it . Spike was a true comedy . great July 25, 2009 12:48 PM Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom Photos 120 Jokes 89 Cartoons 30 Videos 18 News 14 Health News 12Two old men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?""Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex.""Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him.The newcomer asks "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here?" The man replies, " I am waiting to see the doctor." "W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?" The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem." "A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's ttthat?" "Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk.": . skip to main skip to sidebar Wednesday , July 22, 2009 Did you hear the joke about . Just what it’s called : old Jews telling jokes . The joke tellers featured aren’t professionals rather they’re doctors , lawyers , a garment worker , a wine salesman just like your favorite Jewish uncle or grandparent . With wonderful timing and mannerisms , and bouncy klezmer music backing them up , these funny old alter kockers deliver , with great delight , the off-color and risqué jokes from a bygone era . Please visit : http : oldjewstellingjokes.com Labels : Entertainment News : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe to : Post Comments Atom Photos 120 Jokes 89 Cartoons 30 Videos 18 News 14 Health News 12 Entertainment News 11 Random Thoughts 11 Fashion 9 Bumper Stickers 3 Retirement News 2 Good Reading 1 Politics 1 Sites that link here The Orlando Sentinel The Chicago Tribune The Hartford Courant Get my daily Blog updates on your mobile . phone Blog Archive Blog Archive July 2009 84 June 2009 1 March 2009 2 February 2009 5 January 2009 11 December 2008 5 November 2008 6 October 2008 5 September 2008 5 August 2008 11 July 2008 12 June 2008 6 May 2008 8: skip to main skip to sidebar Wednesday , July 22, 2009 I can't remember Just a line to say I m living . That I'm not among the dead . Though I'm getting more forgetful and mixed up in the head . I got used to my arthritis , to my dentures I'm resigned , I can manage my bifocals , but God I miss my mind . For sometimes I can't remember when I stand at the foot of the stairs , if I must go up for something or have I just come down from there . And before the fridge so often my poor mind is filled with doubt have I just put food away , or have I come to take some out . And there is time when it is dark with my nightcap on my head , I don't know if I'm retiring or just getting out of . bed So , if it's my turn to write you there's no need to get sore , I may think that I have written and don't want to be a bore . So , remember that I miss you and wish that you were near , but now it's nearly mail time so I must say goodbye I fear . There I stand beside the mailbox with a face so very red . Instead of mailing you this letter I had opened it instead . Thank you Bob for sending that . in Labels : Random Thoughts : Reactions 0 comments : Post a Comment Newer Post Older Post Home I always said... "Growing old ain't for sissies."Very funny ad by Dubai Cosmetic Surgery. Click on any picture to see it full size.: skip to main skip to sidebar Tuesday , July 21, 2009 Fake bus stop keeps Alzheimer's patients from escaping There's a bus stop located outside the Benrath Senior Centre in Dusseldorf , Germany . People occasionally walk up to the stop and stand there , waiting for a bus , but a bus never comes . In fact , the stop is on no bus route . It's a faux bus stop , purposefully created by the local department of transportation as a lure designed to deceive Alzheimer's patients from the senior centre . It sounds funny , 8221 said Old Lions Chairman Franz-Josef Goebel , but it helps . Our members are 84 years-old on average . Their short-term memory hardly works at all , but the long-term memory is still active . They know the green and yellow bus sign and remember that waiting there means they will go home . 8221 The result is that errant patients now wait for their trip home at the bus stop , before quickly forgetting why they were there in the first place . 8220 We will approach them and say that the bus is coming later today and invite them in to the home for a coffee , 8221 said Mr Neureither . Five minutes later they have completely forgotten they wanted to leave . 8221 The idea has